Answer Nation, the watermelon is aplenty, John Boyle is yelling “I’m making my own gravy over here!” at least 14 times a day and no fewer than three pairs of tourists this week have asked for walking directions to some combination of “The Biltmore Mansion,” the nearest Olive Garden and “the free parking where all the locals go.”
The only thing left to round out the summer in Asheville is a nice, refreshing topless rally question to accompany your burning questions, my smart-aleck responses and the real deal. Thanks for sending.
Question: Every year my conservative in-laws come for my daughter’s birthday, which for the past three years has fallen on the same weekend as the freaking topless rally. This year I took a look at the Go Topless map, and almost fell over I was so happy to see that Asheville was no longer listed. Is it possible that we are finally out of the bare-breasted woods?
My answer: I find that a dozen or so topless women in cutoffs being photographed by 600 middle-age men in fanny packs adds a level of birthday whimsy that a princess party just can’t achieve.
Real answer: Unfortunately for those who don’t appreciate a little nudity with their children’s parties, we will likely be seeing at least a few pairs of bare breasts downtown come August.
According to an organizer with the national Go Topless organization, which lists rallies across the country, Asheville’s absence from the organization’s “Boob Map” was just a glitch, so rest assured your feminism is safe and sound.
The now-infamous rallies have drawn the ire of local lawmakers for the last four years, drawing anywhere from a dozen to 30 or more topless demonstrators and hundreds of onlookers downtown.
The rallies always take place on the Sunday closest to Women’s Equality Day, which this year will be Aug. 26. Attendance has dwindled steadily each year.
This year’s rally will be at 1 p.m. in Pritchard Park, where organizers moved it last year to give the event more visibility.
Despite the fact that it is and has always been legal to be topless in public in Asheville, rally organizers say it’s important to exercise the right. State lawmakers over the last few years have attempted to pass legislation banning the events to no avail.
Question: Around this time every year, it seems I see all different flavors of local political candidates citing themselves as “favorites” to win local elections or “leading the race” or what have you. I’m curious if anyone actually does local candidate polls or if these are just imaginary.
My answer: Whoa there, guy. Made-up data and imaginary superlatives are what this city’s great best-of list tourism strategy are built on.
Real answer: There are some pretty solid voter guides for Western North Carolina made by local nonprofits but in the way of election polling, any candidate claiming poll data is stretching.
“There’s really nothing to my knowledge on any significant scale, or that has a very broad base on the local level,” said Lizzi Shimer, president of the Asheville Buncombe League of Women Voters. “Many candidates will do their own research, but there’s no objective polling I know of that should be able to predict who people will vote for in a local election.”
Children First/Communities in Schools of Buncombe County runs a comprehensive voter guide at VoteBuncombe.org.
This is the opinion of Casey Blake. Email your questions to cblake@citizen-times.com or call 828-232-2922.
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